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(Tired of Seeing D.eath)

March 14th, 2022 | Marcus Ruffin

Tired of seeing d.eath in my iris.

I see it open/closing my eyelids.

Tears well up but don't drip.

Words form on my tongue but don't leave my lips.

I stared at that sight for hrs.

The images burning into my mental pictures.

Untreated t.rauma I just seen another k.illing.

I watch c/o's shirk who's responsible of supervision.

Am I e.vil bc I realize its be the perp or be a v.ictim?

Who's ready to face that kind of truism?

I watched a man lose his life today!

A nightmare I keep reliving wide awake.

Not the first to experience this but it feels like it.

Observing reactions of people around me,

no one reacts like me, am I c.razy?

Jeers from the i.nmates, cheers from the p.igs.

Smiling, laughing, joking as they leave the the d.ead on scene,

for hrs where he is.

Me, I'm numb/cold/silent. Like I too am lifeless.

Brain racing/sharp, how many lives lost to imperialism?

Yet I sit f.alsely c.onvicted. I'm tired of the one fix all remedies.

Feeling no one understanding me, the normalcy a.ngers me.

But the valid reactions I have to exposed inhumanity is insanity!?

The r.evolution is love but rn I feel h.atred. Where/how am I to lead my people with no outlet/e.scape plan?

Daily I f.ight with my all my might to keep my light.

Everyday ever so slightly its diminishing,

as I s.truggle for my right to be f.ree.

Now I sit loxxed down with what feels like p.unishment.

That's on top of covid, I'm stitched lipped,

getting questioned like I did the shit.

Outta revolutionary love I flip it. Like are you OK?

You saw what happened but you ain't in a cage.

You going home, I'm left here smelling d.eath in the air,

my scenario exacerbates.

HA! My laugh is dark as twilight at the irony.

I'm just weary/heavy laden, expressing my wit.

I feel like an alien on a foreign planet.

Tired of seeing d.eath

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